I have statcounter on my other tumblr – a super cool tool that allows me to see what people are looking at, and what kind of traffic the site gets in general. I love seeing where people are from, and I can even see what they searched on google to find my page (‘gay SF men in fishnet body socks’ – I’m not kidding, and I kind of wish I had such a thing on there). It is fascinating to me and these days I spend more time on there than I do the dash of my other blog, for obvious reasons of the heart.
So this morning, I start getting people, one after another, after another, from every corner of the world, hitting a page that I had hidden, but google had cached (thanks google – I owe you a dick punch). The post is still up on this blog (since really, it’s just friends and family who are here with me), it’s about MVD/ aka Darth Maul. Ah, the tumblr drama. Domwithpen made a post about it, summarizing everyone’s pain in a tidy headline and then adding posts that he felt were relevant to the story – mine being one of them.
It’s up there, and it’s not that I care that everyone is getting a good look at it (and probably thinking, “what a fool”), but lately it has really been chafing. The pain of it. The fact that I haven’t been able to cut out the feelings and move on. Living with pain, all. the. damn. time., is wearing me down. Makes me edgy… *deep cleansing breath*
No one has contacted me about it. Though I am guilty of reading the comments on the reblogs. It rubs salt on it. Makes it hurt more. I keep hoping the pain of it will burn some sense into me.
I plan on spending the night cleaning, a hot bath, cup of herbal tea (I have choices) and a book (I have a stack I’m going through, so choices there too). All of that will be after I put my peeps to bed – but it’s movie night! With popcorn. And cuddling.
I hope you are all having a lovely, not weird or painful Saturday.