Villain: “You and I are very much alike, you know.”
Hero: “I realize that.”
Villain: “Doesn’t that trouble you?”
Hero: “Why would it? I share most of my genome with sewer rats.”
Villain: “But our similarities mean that, deep down, you’re a bad person. There’s nothing stopping you from being just as evil as I am!”
Hero: “Sure there is. I’m stopping me.”
Villain: “But in your heart you crave—”
Hero: “Sometimes when I’m in a crowded building I get the sudden urge to just boop a stranger right on the nose. But I don’t do it, because that would be super rude and weird. Does having that compulsion in the first place make me just as much of a weirdo as if I had acted on it? Maybe it does in your eyes, but to the would-be boopee, it makes all the difference in the world.”
Villain: “We’re not talking about booping noses, we’re talking about killing peop—”
Hero: “Look, dude, I’m sure murder can be really satisfying. But I’ve decided that I don’t want to murder people, and I think that’s very sexy of me. Look at me. With a little self-restraint, you might have had what I have.”
Villain: “But surely it disturbs you, doesn’t it? To know how close you are to snapping. Don’t deny it. There’s so much darkness in your heart. Do you really think they’d still love you if they knew? They’d be disgusted by you. They’d hate you, for thinking so much like me.”
Hero: “That’s the difference, isn’t it? Between you and I. One tiny difference. That’s all it takes. That’s the line between good and evil.”
Villain: “What?”
Hero: “You saw your own darkness and let it destroy you. You surrendered to it the moment you realized it was there. You threw open the door for it and welcomed it inside and let it rob you of your humanity without even a word of protest because you just couldn’t imagine it was something you could fight.”
Villain: “And you, oh-so-sanctimonious one?”
Hero: “I said ‘no thanks’. That’s it. That’s the difference.”
Villain: “Did you just—did you just—”
Hero: “Boop your nose? You’re right. It did feel good.”
Villain: “They would be disgusted if they knew”
Hero: “Most of my friends work retail, they all know that feeling of wanting to kill somebody and then not acting on it.”
Ha!
This is wonderfully brilliant.