S/he sent me a text this afternoon and filled me in. It sounded fun, though low key, and we there wasn’t any playing. I want to hear more about it, hopefully we get a chance to chat later.

Her/his text made me feel really damn good. I felt wanted. It swept away that terrible superfluous feeling. It felt like a warm hug. Though an actual real one would be sooooo good. A naked hug even better. 

I didn’t tell you how I rose above my fears and insecurities, not knowing what had happened… lots of dirty fantasies. I imagined how happy s/he was. I imagined how good s/he felt. There were moments of bitter sweet – but it took me out of my own head. Plus dirty fantasies! 

I’ve been listening to Kings of Leon and thinking of a mental picture I have of her – our first night out, driving into town to Sin City. I watched her talk, all animated with excitement and passion about how girls get ready and the things they do to feel/look pretty. She looked beautiful, lit up by the lights of the dash and highway. I watched her – savoured the taste of her lipstick, and wondered at my good fortune. I remember wanting so badly to kiss her again. So at the next opportunity, I did.