I’m having a City and Colour kind of night.

I’m hopeful, but oddly melancholy.

I’ve written out a bunch of different thoughts on the feeling, and then deleted them all. It’s hard to explain without looking overly dramatic.

When I was asking one of my Seattle peep friends her thoughts on the Misty/wife situation (they have a poly lifestyle and I value her thoughts), one of her comments to me was, “I feel sorry for you.”

We were at a lovely eatery, craft beers in hand, and I looked out the window at the darkening Seattle sky, and felt the squeeze on my heart and that horrible prickle of pre-tears. It was not a conversation of hope/potential, it was one of inevitable heartache. Loneliness.

Despite that conversation, I had a great time with them.

I continue to live life my way, facing impossible odds because I fucking can. Some things are worth it, worth trying for. Living is risking.

And even as I sit here, believing that to my core, I let this song wash over me.

Hard as a stone, baby.