Just a thought regarding the ‘being tested’ – maybe it’s the language you used, but that doesn’t sit comfortably with me. Doesn’t have to – not my relationship – but being ‘tested’ on something that will affect your relationship, where you honestly voice how you feel, and somehow that’s a failure??? Not ok. You allowed to feel what you feel. It isn’t right or wrong. Your actions may be either, but your feelings are not. And you are allowed to be honest. If you can’t, then that’s the failure. X

S/he has since said it “Test” isn’t the right word. 

But I agree with you – you don’t test a person you care about. You ask them. If you don’t believe they’ll be honest with you, DUMP THEM. I really believe that. 

I don’t think speaking my mind is a failure. I agree with you there too – I think it’s a damn good thing. And believe me, I told him *exactly* what I thought. Were some things uncomfortable truths? Yes. But the truth is rarely without some bitter flavour. 

S/he listened but wasn’t happy. Her/his response was clear about that. But we talked through it.

The thing is, I trust my intuition. Very deeply. I have learned to listen. So I did, and he didn’t like what I had to say. part of the problem was it’s not based in fact – it’s a feeling!! Lots of little tid-bits of facts can add up to point the feelings in a direction, but it is an inner voice thing.

You want to hear the funny part? I was fucking right. So damn right, I surprised myself. S/he had me so twisted up, I thought maybe I was acting all jealous and closed off. It made me feel off balanced about myself. On the plus side I did a personal values inventory, and I felt that  – the warning vibes I got from this person aside – I was being true to me. So I feel vindicated and Misty/Boy-side got to see that yes, I WAS RIGHT. And I saved us some grief. So go me.

I love that you messaged me this. 🙂  Thank you. *HUGE HUGS!!*