It’s that fabulous time of month where my brain rewires itself, and I feel helpless at the onslaught of sad. Fuuuuuuck.

I have this image of my brain, floating around on it’s stem, and the fluid goes from stable brain chemicals to hormonal soup for a few days, until it drains, and I go back to “normal”.

I feel like a huge burden, and I don’t even want to be around myself. I just keep saying, as I flop around the house barating myself for being such a loser, “this too shall pass.”, and I simultaneously want to give myself the finger.

I want hugs, affection and attention while, at the same time, feeling completely unworthy of it.

These extremes are hard on my mind and body. I know, as surely as the sun sets and rises each day, that in a few days, I’ll feel lighter, happier and see myself as the miracle I am. I’ll see that all things are possible, and my drive to get them will be back with full force, and I’ll wonder at why I could get so low and feel such inertia.

But today I struggle.