My 45th birthday was a gentle affair from my actual birthday to my party. In hindsight, it’s care and love reminded me a lot of my 40th. Low key but warming to my soul.

I planned (and set up) for a big gathering but it ended up not being as big. Which was totally fine. I had set my expectations low, and thought if it’s just me, Boy-side, and my peeps then that was just fine. I had a few people come by, and I was thrilled to see them.

The sun was shining, the air was warm, the beer was cold and my pulled chicken tacos were spicy. And, best of all, the company was excellent. The music was fun too!

If I do another party again, I think it was a good set up. So if you get to come to my next one, prepare for the taco bar.

So, on my birthday eve, as I was rushing around working on passports for my kids, my oldest starts drama with me and my ex. My relationship with my ex has mellowed over the years, though we deal with each other very little as he has been living in Ontario for the last 4.5 years. So the passport thing is something he is being not difficult about. Yay! Anyway, the drama was about something that happened from our ugly split that i had told him about. *insert Hagrid voice here* Shouldna done that.

My oldest was complaining about being trapped at his father’s house (he’s been there this school year) and I told him he doesnt have the market cornered on feeling trapped, and proceeded to tell him that i had been court ordered to stay in the area (and couldn’t be out of the area for more 72hours) or be arrested. Anyway he brought it up with his Dad, asking him why. His Dad denied it ever happened. Which sent me for a tail spin. A ptsd type of physical and emotional response happened when my son came at me calling me a liar.

It was eye opening. Once my head cleared the next morning, and hopeless and helpless fog had lifted. I’m glad I was able to have my birthday not darkened by that. It was, as I mentioned, a really great day.

The 40’s continue to be the best decade ever.