An update on Sweet boy. (tumblr therapy)

Communication can be weird. And I think I am fairly decent at it. Mostly. But clearly not in this case. We did have a misunderstanding.

I was hell bent on getting a straight answer – did he like me in a way to want to get sexy with me? Does he find me attractive? What is the blockage here? And if it had come back as “You do not excite me in any way.”, I would have taken that and closed the book on those hopes, but there was a niggling questions in my mind. And I am a curious and determined girl.

We sorted it out. Our expectations of what this could look like needed to clarified.

I am not looking for something traditional from him. Not a bit. And he’s in a place where relationship stuff is about as appealing as a beer with cigarette butts floating in it. Not at all. This isn’t a thing where one of us moves, professes their undying love or anything like that (I almost put “garbage” at the end of that sentence). No, this is about connection, sexual exploration and fun. For me anyway, and hopefully him too.

Misty and I had been talking about it a lot. S/he is, as always, my cheerleader and support. My partner-in-crime and touchstone. It’s been hard for her to watch me be sad and heart sore. When I cried, s/he held me, and talked things through with me, kissing my tears away. And not for the first time I thought “How strange and wonderful is my life?”

One of the things I really appreciate and adore about Sweet boy is how real and honest he is. He is not a 2 dimensional online flirt. He gets real with me. And he’s let me into a part of himself that not everyone gets to see. I get to see a wider version than most. That excites me, that intimacy. Just as much as the thought of kissing him and putting him over my knee for a spanking does (oh my goodness he is sassy!). There is a lot of wonderful there that I am willing to open my heart, mind and body to. Oof, is it vulnerable in here or is it just me?

And thank you to everyone who liked, commented or messaged me… your support is *amazing*. And seriously helped.

Now I get to go forward, and see what happens next with Sweet boy.

Hugs,

Becca