I’m at a point with my floor in the laundry room where I am now ready to put on the tiles. I’ve got the “next stage jitters”. I’m afraid to fuck it up.  The progress and learning I’ve made don’t seem as impressive when you see the state of the room, but I have loved every glorious, doing-outside-of-my-comfort-zone, moment. Also I’m exhausted. 

I’ve got a new roof going on the house. It’s half way done today. Yesterday they dropped off the fascia, so after work and dinner I got the kids cleaned up and into jammies and we drove into town and I bought some paint and accessories – a giant tarp because it was calling for rain. So after we got home, I tucked all my monkeys into bed, put my head lamp flashlight on and set up a painting tarp tent in the front yard and got busy painting. I talked to her/him as I painted and s/he worked on his stuff. Gabbing about our projects, with some sexy talk thrown in for good measure. It was really lovely. 

Work is, and has been for a year, a struggle. I haven’t talked about it much, but I feel the need for action rising. I get paid late, or my check bounces. For the longest time I didn’t want to look for a new job because I needed to look stable for my mortgage, and really after that I just wanted to work on the house for a bit. Get some things sorted out and fixed up. Now with that chaos, the idea of looking for new work is daunting. But it’s all just fear. Right now the boat is floating – do I really want to fuck with that? And then I think that without risk, there can be no growth, no great reward. Sometimes driving this ship is scary as fuck. 

I am exhausted tonight (did I mention that?), but I’m still looking forward to our chat. I think I’ll have a hot shower and get ready for bed. 

For all my favourite couples (and people) the above video. This is a great collaboration by P!nk and City and Colour:

“They say everything
it happens for a reason,
You can be flawed enough
and perfect for a person…

That’s you and me.”

I give it an 11 out of  10 on the shmoop scale.