The shopping cart of life

A college friend of mine once referred to her life as a shopping cart.

“You’ve got your career wheel, you love wheel, your mind wheel and your body wheel on the cart. I’ve always got one wheel completely fucked.”

Ugh, truth. Mine are all a little fucked at the moment. My mental health in the last 2 months has taken a beating, but it had been building up to that. I hit some serious lows. And because of that my work has suffered. Terribly. I have to pull my life out of the fire, and it’s hard to scrape the will together to do it. But the PANIC has set in, so I’m hoping adrenaline will come to the rescue and help me – must pay the bills, must keep this ship with all my people on it afloat.

So mind and career wheel – kind of fucked.

Then there is my physical health. Also current status – not awesome.

The final wheel, the Love wheel is doing alright. Misty is amazing and has been such a huge support and loving me up through what feels like spinning out of control. I don’t even want to think about where I would be without the steady grounding of his/her love. Sweet boy has been a wonderful help by being there too, though I share some things, he has mostly been a lovely distraction. I’ve had to be firm with myself about not rushing him, and going at his pace. Somedays I have better success.

So that is the current state of me. Messy, struggling but trying.