Shockingly so. It’s as odd as it has been wonderful (getting dumped aside).

Well, I saw straightaway

That the lay was steep,

But I fell for you, honey,

Easy as falling asleep.

And that, right there,

Is the course I keep.

~ Joanna Newsom, Good Intentions Paving Company

It’s the middle of the night and everyone is asleep. I worked most of today while everyone was out water skiing and tubing. They had a great time.

After dinner I took a half an hour and went to the pool with the kids. Swam around with them for a bit and then laid on my back and starfished, and let my mind wander. I keep looking at all the puzzle pieces of him and I and wondered “Why?”, why was it not working? And got lost in various thoughts. How weird is it to feel close to someone, but have it turn out to be only one way? It felt uncomfortable exploring those thoughts.

Then there was a calmness, and a soul deep belief that “What will be, will be.” Should he want to, he knows where to find me.

I wish him every happiness. I want that so much for him. I know he will find it, or more likely, it will find him. And sweep him off his feet.