“.. Based on a selection of who they fit is best for the wife role”
Oh my god this hits hard on something I’ve seen in too many married people: They pick a wife/husband™, then it’s like that contract creates a sense of closure and certainty which turns so easily into taking that partner totally for granted.
It’s not necessarily abusive or actively neglectful, but there is a vibe that the wife/husband are basically furniture. There is no vibrant energy, anticipation and excitement bubbling for the other, they sit flat upon the expectation that the roles are filled so nothing beyond this needs to be done, or even elicits the desire to do and be more.
If anyone is in such a flat, dull, autopilot, side-table-like marriage, I most sincerely hope for them to give themselves the chance to turn to their spouse, realize that they’re not a fixture of the house like the really reliable washer/dryer but warm-blooded animals with a world inside them and do much more with and for them (and yourself).
Or pull the damn plug. Life’s far too short for a slow, lazy, tepid death like that.
100% this. As soon as I realized I was nothing more than the kids Mom, and sex dispenser I got the fuck out.
