Lazlo Gulyas
Something about this that just brings out all the feels.
When people ask me, “How do I meet the right person? How did you do it? You and Misty fit so well!”, I always say start with intention, know what you are looking for.
Before I met Misty, my friend Anna and I would make lists. She was looking for her person and I was looking for mine. We would write ridiculous ones, just for fun, describing superficial traits, and goofy shit like that.
“He’s got to be tall. And I want him to be able to pick me up to fuck me.” She would say.
“Well that one is easy for me, since almost *everyone* is taller than me. That’s barely worth writing on my list! For me he has to have great hair. Like, I want to run my hands through it, play with it, grab it when necessary – and I would make sure it would be very fucking necessary.” I would say, as we volleyed traits back and forth.
We would laugh our asses off, and go through everything from eye colour to sexual skills. We would also do the more important, overarching qualities that we felt would make a good partner.
We became very clear on what we wanted, and consequently didn’t want, in the partner type people in our lives.
So when each of met that person – Me, Misty and her, her soon-to-be-husband, we saw them for the gems that they were. We recognized and saw what we wanted. And went for it with a single minded intensity. Some have called it Ludicrous Speed.
Anna and I, once we had found them, would check in with each other. We would often marvel at how close we came with our lists.
“It is like I fashioned him from clay.” She said to me once. And I agreed. It felt like the universe had served us up just what we asked for.
So I say to anyone looking for that special person, start there. Be ridiculous. Shoot for the moon. They might not be every single thing you asked for, and you may find you get bonus things that surprise you (in the best way).
As if the universe made them just for you.
*edited to note: it doesn’t always work. You may find someone who checks off all of your boxes, but sadly, you don’t check theirs. And when that happens it is the worst.