Do you think more women are turned off by a man on tumblr if he’s married? I mean. Would you yourself have coffee with a married man from tumblr if he asked you? What if you consented to that and it became more than just a casual coffee date?

Hey there Anon,

I can’t speak for women as a whole, just from my experience and how I feel about it.

If the guy is married and they are not in a poly/open relationship model, I am not interested. And that is a hard line for me. I have gone down that road and it’s a dumbass road to go down. For SO MANY reasons.

I love the truth! In the truth there is intimacy. And when there are a shit ton of lies, guess what you don’t have any of? And it isn’t coffee.

I was married, a few years before I met Misty, when I discovered tumblr. I met a man (who was married) and I learned a few important things about myself:

1) If I am not happy where I am, I need to change that (which I did)
2) People who are not happy where they are and don’t change it, I am not interested in.
3) I like people who are real, and not just living in an online fantasy world.

I know what it is like to be hurt (and get that shaky, horrible, feeling sick at discovering the truth) and I’ve also been the on the other side of it (and feeling like a huge asshole – which I was). I don’t ever want to be apart of that kind of hurt again.

And no, I didn’t leave my husband for that guy, I left him for the idea of happiness. I wanted happiness, and where I was there was none to be found.

So… IF a person were in an unhappy marriage, I would challenge them to ask themselves why. Odds are good their partner is too. Maybe sort that out first and then they could enjoy coffee (and living a life of truth) with someone they really enjoy.

Thanks so much for the ask. 🙂
Becca