Whatever this feeling is it aches like a son of a bitch some days.

But I don’t hate this feeling. I sit with that chest ache. I swim in self doubt. Sometimes I get lost in hope. And then there are times when I feel a soul deep gratitude, that radiates warmth all through my body when I think of the person he is and our time together. And then I get hit with the ache again.

I know time will help this, memories and emotions will fade, and then I feel a little sad about that too.