Thank you for the question. That’s a complicated one!Firstly, it’s always interesting to hear what emotions people feel when they read something I’ve written. Because it is definitely not always what I was feeling when I wrote it, or even what I expected someone else to feel upon reading it.
That said, I’ve been writing on Tumblr about various relationships (including my marriage) for over eight years, during which time I’ve never been in a monogamous one. Which means my partners have often had other partners which leads to all sorts of complicated emotions.
So, I have written about what it feels like to be home alone when a partner is on a date and I’m feeling alone and scared, and I’ve also written about watching someone I love fuck someone else I love and it’s been easy and ridiculous. But the pendulum swings widely.
That pain has definitely been there at times, whether it’s from a place of jealousy, anger, or even betrayal because no relationship is perfect when it comes to dating people. We’re all sloppy tubes full of emotions and if we’re lucky we get to feel the whole damn spectrum of them (although hopefully not all at once).
But it’s not always there, and it is often of my own making. And like any relationship, it’s worthwhile both for the joy and the bliss along with the challenging and often painful growth that happens whenever two people try to spend huge amounts of time with one another.
I hope that answers your question!
-gny
This makes me feel really good – that I am not alone in the kaleidoscope of feelings within my relationship. Misty may not suffer from the swings that I do, but it is so nice to know I am not alone.