My GrandMum passed away in May.

It hit me harder than I thought possible. At 93 she had lived a long, full, very loved life. She wasn’t very happy when I talked to her at Christmas, it really felt like she was done. When I told her how my renovations were going, her response was,

“I am never going to learn and do anything new again.”

I didn’t know what to say. This was not the feisty, kick ass woman I knew. It broke my heart. She had lost her vision and gotten increasingly less and less  mobile. My Mum spoke to her every day for the last 7 years. She called at 4 o’clock to touch base with my GrandMum and was a kind of daily hug. We all live so spread out across the country – my mom on the east coast, my grandmother in central Canada, and me on the West Coast. 

I’m doing the 4 o’clock call now.

I miss Grandmum so much already. Her death made me feel the loss of my GrandDad all over again. I’ve had dreams that are so vivid of the two of them, I wake up feeling like I’ve just spent time with them. Which is both amazing and punch-in-the-gut feeling. I keenly feel the loss of their love and affection. 

It’s 3:53 – I’m going to call my Mum.