Relationships are hard. And life isn’t easy. 

We crossed the bridge, and we got to the other side of some major things. But there are always more fire-y hoops to jump through, more obstacles will pop up and my ideas about life and love and inner peace will be tested. 

Misty is going through, and has been for the past year, a separation from his/her wife of 20 years. Sometimes (okay, a lot of times) I don’t give her/him enough credit for the difficult feelings/things s/he is going through. S/he loves that person (why, I still have no idea… but no judging), and this is a question of fit. It is always sad when something ends, especially when kids are involved. So it’s hard, and even though I knew it was going to be a process for her.him, I didn’t know where to look for the trouble spots and pain points. 

Freedom.  It’s an important thing for both of us. I was in a cage and expected to behave a certain way for many, many years. I get it completely. But I have been living the dream, and am free to totally be myself. S/he is still trying to figure than out. Sadly even being with me feels cage like, which I never ever ever want to be. So how does s/he want to live? Good question. We’re still sorting that out. S/he knows she wants me and wants/is willing to be gentle with a lot of my feelings. Those being:

– being replaced
– fighting for his/her time and attention
– less of his/her time
– being left out
– secrets
– being jealous
– triads
– feeling obligated to this new person
– struggling more with feeling not good enough and unlovable

So there is work to be done. 

S/he needs to trust me and not lie to me. I can’t give him/her what she needs if I don’t know about it or we pretend everything is fine. Fine just fine. 

Being brave enough to deal with things head on is the only way to keep this car on the road.