kushandwizdom:

x

A good reminder.

Today I got “tested” by boy-side/misty.

I failed. I was not enthusiastic about a play partner. Maybe I was feeling threatened maybe I felt like she was drama, but I voiced my opinion. My intuition is telling me “nope”. And as far as I am concerned, I’m allowed to have an opinion. He wanted to test me, see how accepting/supportive I would be in the face of my feelings. I told him I would support him, but I didn’t hold back what I thought of her. So yeah, I was kind of a bitch.

Verdict. I’m not as sweet as s/he thought.

Guess what, I’m fucking human.

We had painful discussion about play partners and what support should look like. For both of us. For me, I want to play with people who enhance us. Make it more fun and sexy. Not feel replaced.

I don’t know what he wants from me.

I’m exhausted.