We had a surprise, fun, sexy threesome on Friday with a friend followed by a bonus Saturday night of just the two of us. Saturday night we went out down town for fun and then a full, orange moon, a bottle of wine, the beach, and a crashing ocean and us in a sleeping bag until dawn, wrapped it up. My heart was full to overflowing.
I’m that kind of monthly hormonal that kicks you in the vagina.
Now, we are in, through a series of relationship ups and downs (his wife and her guy being allowed to meet and do and be where ever they like, and me feeling excluded as fuck) has sent us into a relationship space that isn’t very sexy and feels way too much like some kind of fucked up ultimatum.
S/he asked me to do up a list of the things I want/need. The simplified list (without all my preamble/explanation I wrote to him/her):
- I don’t want to be a secret
- I want to be wanted
- I want to meet your kids/family – and I’d like our people to meet each other
- someday, when the kids are gone, I want to share our space. Live together
- I want to be loved. And I want to hear those words
I wrote about each item to him/her. I don’t *think* I am out to lunch here. But maybe I am. As I said to him/her, there is no time limit, but really these are things you either want or you don’t. I think.
What do you think?
So now it is rough seas ahead for a bit. Maybe for a long time.
I said to him/her in a text this morning:
You asked me for things that are important to me. You are important to me. When I love someone I want to spend my time with them. I am dying. Hopefully slowly. My time is precious. I want to look at you as much as I can before I go. I want to fuck and lick and kiss you as much as I can. I want to see you happy as much as I can. That is my motivation.
My friends, I seek the great perhaps, love, and kinky, kinky sex.