It has been a hungry few days. 

I am surviving it. I was down 2 lbs this week. 23 lbs to go

I am the last rat on the ship at work, my last co-worker left today and it’s just me and my boss. Who is suicidal. A terrible manager. A wee bit creepy. Just person who is just trying to muddle his way through like the rest of us. I sadly have my financial well being tied up with this job and him. I really need to take action and get myself out of there… anyway! I would looooove a beer. 

I have had this in my drafts folder for a while. I look at it and feel sad sometimes. Only sometimes. Because the rest of the time I feel like, “I *am* spending my life with the person who has started that fire in me!”

It may not be exactly how I want it to be, but it is pretty damn awesome, obstacles and hormonal ups and downs aside. 

We talk every day. Every. Day. Often. Multiple calls. He calls anytime, and I do too. We text/whatsapp all day too – around the phone calls. We talk and text about little things and big things. We share our day. S/he is almost always the last person I talk to before I fall asleep. I get A LOT of his time. S/he is my person. My partner. We may not share a bed every night, or be a couple to all of his friends or family, but I feel it. I feel his love and care and affection and lust. That is a lot, my friends. 

I’ve had a partner I was less than excited about, who made me struggle in my own skin. Who didn’t give two dry farts about how my day was or what my passions were. I got a ring, a bed partner and a whole lot of unhappiness. No fucking thank you. 

This quote frustrates me because it makes me feel helpless. I can’t have what I want? Fuck that. Life may not be *exactly* how I want it to be, but I will never just fucking let something I want go without a good fight. I’m not going to go all Titanic and slip off the raft (there was plenty of room on there Jack, you dick). 

That said, if you are fighting for something that doesn’t want to be fought for, stop. That road leads no where. 

So despite the sad quote and losing my co-worker, I am having a really good Friday.