“At the end of the day…” when I hear that now, all I can here is his/her voice. It’s a wonderful thing that makes me feel all glowy- that I can visualize his/her smile, the beautiful laugh lines, as s/he says that to me in my head. S/he has another saying too, that I have found myself repeating both out loud in convsersation and to myself – “It is what it is”… yes, indeed.
So… Saturday night! A-MAZE-ING!!!!! We didn’t get to Sin (the event) until late, but the evening was so… decadent. It was fun to talk, play, get ready, do dirty-dirty things to each other, eat sushi, talk some more, kiss, fuck, take pictures… god… the night passed like it was 15 minutes…
“When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That’s relativity.”
― Albert Einstein
So the night was wonderful, albeit felt short as hell. I would regale you with details, but this blog has remained sfw, and despite the risque topics (hello! I’m in love with a beautiful woman who’s a man!), I’ll leave out the more x-rated deets. Let’s just say I can’t even believe some of them – they make me crazy-giddy-happy thinking about though!
But like everything in life, it’s not smooth sailing, or carefree. I think the most worthwhile things are often the hardest of all. On the plus side, my presence has created a stronger bond between him/her and his/her’s wife. There is something there that wasn’t there before (no bursting into song, for those of you who got that), and that is a good thing. I hope there is room for me. I am filled with lots of anxiety about whether or not I am more trouble than I am worth. I want to live my life honestly, open in who I am and who I love. And I want to do no harm in the process.
At the end of the day, all we have is who we are… and how deeply we loved and were loved in return.