I’m sitting on a bench taking a few minutes. I’m having a sad moment. I woke up feeling sad, actually.
Today he and my work friend are interviewing someone who he has no doubt fucked. Or wants to. Or is currently. I’ll have to work with this person.
When I went out to dinner with a tumblr friend the other night, and was describing some of the things that went down I realized a couple of things. A) That I am seriously fucked up. B) That I don’t know how to get better.
HRB posted something about ‘to love is to be brave’… I used to tell him he was worth being brave for. Which is so stupid of me. What a joke I was. I’m ashamed, and embarrassed that I could ne so stupid. I think there is a fine line between bravery and stupidity.
Even the amazing that is art, New York, being on my own time, cannot chase away this sadness today.
It fucking sucks.