isay said: No settling kiddo you deserve better. He should be worshipping you.
There aren’t enough thanks I can say to this, especially from a person who’s own relationship I admire so deeply. It made me feel lovely and sad all at the same time, if that makes sense.
I don’t want to sell myself short. I don’t want to be someone’s, “You’ll do.”
I want to matter, and be an important part in someone’s life. Someone who proudly says, “This is my girl. I love her.”
I’m in a hard place where I love someone who doesn’t love me as fiercely. It’s painful and awkward, and I both wish I could not feel this way, but am so terribly sad at the same thought.
God knows I didn’t want to love this man. Divorcing, coming out of an affair that had left me shaken, I told him, please don’t if you aren’t serious, because when I’m in, I’m ALL IN. There are so many other women who are more than willing to play these reindeer games. He assured me, he was the same way, he was all in too. And for a while I felt like life didn’t get any better. My heart couldn’t sore any higher.
Am I living in the shadows of a past romance that doesn’t exist anymore? Maybe. Where ever I am, it’s hard.
On the plus side I have determined that as a “player” I most decidedly suck. 🙂 I’ve got no stomach for it. So I get to nurse this heart ache until the winds of change blow again. Whether they decide to blow before I am 80, is hard to say.
Thank you isay. *hugs*, this meant a great deal to me.